Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Getting Caught in the Trap

It has been a long time since I have posted anything on this blog, but there is something inside me that is screaming out to be shared. I was sitting here in school, completely silent and studying about Sufi love(if you don’t know it has to do with something about Islam), then suddenly I just felt this thing in me screaming out, “Are you doing what you should be doing?” This question hit me like a brick. It is in reference to the question of fulfilling my purpose in life. I joined this school and am studying these things to bring glory to God in some way at least that was my initial intention. However, now it seems like I have been caught in some sort of trap. Everything that I have been doing has been for selfish motives and selfish gains. Somewhere something went wrong. It transformed into me wanting to graduate not to help people, but just to get done with school. I lost that intention and I got sucked into the trap of living for me, myself, and I.
  I have been reading this book called Radical (well actually listening to the audio version since I study all the dang time) and it has really challenged a lot in me. It has turned my comfort upside down and really made me look at myself to see what I am truly living for. Am I living for  a successful graduation, marriage, family, job, or even church service? Or am I living for something greater then all that: God? This coming season at Calvary Chapel Sawgrass we are going to be taking a challenge with the youth of not just being a FAN for Jesus, but a Follower. In layman terms, being a fan is completely different from a follower. The fan is the one that will cheer for their team or even come up with some cool songs to praise their greatness. Even though he does these things, there is not really anything required of him. The fan doesn’t have to come to the games, nor does he really have to put in work like the team does. In actuality, many times, he can leave early and even skip certain events when things don’t go his way. On the other hand, the follower is a completely different story. The follower is in it through thick and thin. He is the one that gives up his livelihood to learn and be like the one he follows. He is like certain individuals who gave up their successful fishing business or a certain famous religious leader who gave up that title. These are followers. They are the individuals who really live out what they believe. They don’t walk away when things get tough; they truck on and keep fighting, whether it is an outer struggle or one within.
 I am personally starting a journey to set myself on the right path. Not the path of self-indulgence or self-concern, but the path of living for the ONE who changed my life. I am going to search for answers to questions like how to transform the things I am doing now for Christ. What are ways that I can serve not just in Church, but also outside it as well. I know for myself, it is time to make a change. Are you up for the challenge? Its time to make a difference in this world.

p.s. This little spiel of mine might not have anything to do with you. If not then…oh well =)